Guest blog by Sean Michael Parker


So airport security once confiscated our bag of sex toys. My girlfriend was pretty distraught, but I took it as a challenge. I whispered in her ear, “Don’t worry, babe. I’m creative.”

Here’s a list of some things I came up with.


HELMET: Not everyone rides. I get that. But if you do and you travel with helmets, put one on her then throw her face down on the bed and have your way. She won’t be able to see or hear much, which will amplify the pleasure you’re giving her. As an added bonus, she’ll look damn hot naked except for the helmet.

T-SHIRT AND SURGICAL TAPE: Make her turn to the wall. Any wall. She wants to obey. Trust me. You decide whether she receives pleasure or not. That’s how you want it. That’s how she wants it. Creating the line between teasing and torment is your domain.

Slip the shirt over her head. Pull down the neck opening to just above her nose but not over it. Use the surgical tape to secure everything in place. I promise she’s getting wet already. Go ahead and see.

CLOSET: When she’s not around, check out the closet in your hotel room. Can the two of you fit in there? Is there anything you need to move out of the way to make the moment hot and free of distractions when you push her inside and crush her against the back wall? Your planning, ingenuity, and the darkness will turn your girlfriend into putty in your hands.

Speaking of hands, those are your god-given, always available, restraints. Use them. But if you want to get creative – and I recommend you do to make her want you and only you because no one else thinks of this shit – I have a few suggestions for restraints.


REUSABLE GROCERY BAG: I take particular pride in this one. And, I suggest – like the closet – getting prepped early on. The actual bag part of the bag is useless. It’s the handles that matter. Get that shit rolled up and out of the way. Believe me, it won’t be sexy if you make her wait while you’re fumbling to wrap it up just so. You’re going to push her belly-down on the mattress and sit on her ass. By sit, I mean put so much weight on her that she can’t wriggle around. Or move at all. Tie her hands behind her back, using the handles as straps. Perfect handcuffs. Ask if they’re too tight. Show her you care before you screw the living daylights out of her.

If you’ve got them, motorcycle gloves secured together with that handy tape – pun intended – are another way to create mock handcuffs.

 SHEET: Did I say I was proud of my reusable bag brilliance? The sheet wrap-up is my coup d’etat. Tear it off. Fold it in thirds. Lay it across the bed. Take an authoritative stance while you’re doing it, so you don’t look like you’re subbing in for the housekeeper. Make her wait in the corner but don’t take too long. She’s got to feel your confidence. That’s key for both of you.

Command her to come over. Pin her arms to her sides and wrap her like a burrito. So hot. FYI – this technique isn’t for you if you’re not strong enough to lift her up and throw her around. Just sayin’ she’s not going be able to help.

T-SHIRT REVISTED: Another favorite. Get her naked. I know, obviously. Slide one of your t-shirts over her head. You’ll get rock hard when you see how sexy she looks in your shirt. Flip her onto her knees, doggy style. Grab the ends of the shirt, using it like a harness. Yank her onto your cock, ensuring she takes you to the hilt. Gives nice control. Perfect penetration.


 I like to ad-lib even when we have our toy bag around. Here are some other items that are great for scene setting. I’ll let you figure out how to use them because it’s about time I get off this computer and start practicing what I preach.

Belt. $150 in singles. Plastic grocery bag. 6 hardcover books. Motorcycle handlebar whip. Hot tub. Trunk. Car cover. Air mattress. Empty warehouse. Bible. Toothbrush holder.

My parting advice – plan ahead so you can be fully present in the moment. Pay attention. Her grunts, moans, gasps, squirms, and pelvic thrusts will guide you. But, always protect your appearance of authority outwardly, even as you respond to her cues inwardly. It’s what you both need. Inside the bedroom. Outside the bedroom is another story. And, that’s what you both need too.